ghosts, bones and everything else in between

Timing and Chemistry

Hi,

I don’t when was the last time I used this tumblr. Time has moved on since then. Lost my job, got a new job , still play in band, met a girl and girl broke up with me. Nothing really new there.

So I guess this will another blog post about me detailing the rise and fall of a relationship. I looked back a few pages and saw what I wrote about my previous relationship and think to now. I don’t even think about that person anymore.

So does that mean I won’t think about this person anymore come the new days/months/years. I mean I don’t want to forget about this person because I know this time it wasn’t entirely me this time, but it could be I don’t know.

I guess what makes this one different is because I actually the three most important and fatal words you could say in a relationship “I love you” I really did love this person. Did I love this person because I really did or was nice to have someone in my life again or is it I hate the feeling about being lonely and saying I love you is the perfect catch all.

This whole last month I’ve been trying to look back on the whole thing. It’s hard not to see that there was chemistry there but the timing was horrendously off and I wish it wasn’t but that’s life in a vacuum. I see that she seems happier now and I can’t take that away her, that would be super shitty of me and not a characteristic of who I am and why change now.

I guess its the universe’s hands again

I’ll feel better again

I bought a record player

…about a month ago. It’s definitely one of the better purchases in a long time. It has kind of opened a whole new world for me. in terms in both collecting thing as well as just listening to music as whole. Now instead of skipping or picking the track i want to listen to right away, my main intent when listening to records is just to listen.

Simple idea right?

But seriously.  It has to be one of the most relaxing things a person could go. Get home from work, pick a record, place it on the player, drop the needle, and then let go.

It being a portable record player, the speakers are pretty weak, but it does the job for now. I’ve committed to getting at least one new record everything 2-3 weeks. I mostly stick to jazz records because of the simplicity of tones and sounds that appeal to me. I did pick up the Life Aquatic soundtrack (aka Bowie in Portuguese). I do want to build up a decent collection one day.

Also

I also watched the t.v series firefly in entirety as well as serenity. that shit was dope

goodnight

i don’t know how to internet anymore

I was just going to use that as a funny title and then leave it at that. But then I remembered I used to write things on this website.

I don’t use this anymore, not because I don’t want know. I just forgot I had it.

The last few weeks I’ve been working. I’m the assistant manager at a video game store/record store. When did that happen? I guess it’s cool. I guess I can say that now if I ever apply at new job, but when will that be. I’m complacent. That’s bad for now, but someday I’ll try something new. I’m pretty vanilla.

Other than working, I play a lot of Magic the Gathering. I know it’s super nerdy, but its just my release now. It’s weird. I’ve met a lot people playing this game, people normally I would have not have known. Hell, I even got a side job working/running a board game store (now closed). Who would have thought. But yeah I like to tap mana and cast spells.

I did another tour this summer as well as played the Metro. That was super cool. I haven’t played music in weeks, but that’s going to change soon because of upcoming shows and stuff as well as everyone being busy with life. But its good we’re getting back together soon. I’ve missed music. I did restring my guitar. I want to write again, but I can’t force myself to write. If I did, I know it won’t sound good at all.

Other than that, I’ve run into a few old friends over the last few months. Some got  married. Some have kids now. Most of this stuff I saw through Facebook. That part makes me sad. I miss a lot of my friends.

Life is weird.